Marriage is an Institution

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.

Wish I Had That!

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Upmanship

An Australian, a Frenchman and an Italian are talking about married life. Italian: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in wine, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild. Frenchman: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in chocolate, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild. Aussie: When I finish making love to my wife, I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains, and my wife...she goes wild!