Going Through Hell

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.

Signals

On their first night together, the newly weds decided to set up signals concerning their "urges". The lady said "If you want it, squeeze my boob once, if you don't want it, squeeze my boob twice." The gent said "OK, if you want it, pull my dong once, if you don't want it, pull my dong 48 times."

The Bored Woman

A bored woman says to her husband as she clasps her hands together, "Guess what I have in here and you'll get some loving tonight."  The equally bored husband, wishing to avoid any kind of sex at all replies, "An elephant". The wife says, "That's close enough!"