Irish Couple

An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few "squalls," received a humble lecture from their priest regarding their disgraceful quarrels. "Why, that dog and cat you have agree better than you." The husband replied, "If yer reverence'll tie them together, ye'll soon change yer mind."

Fox to a Bulldog

Q: How do you turn a fox into a bulldog?
A: Marry her.

Sex Therapy

A man visits a sex therapist for help because he and his wife don't climax at the same time. The therapist tells the man that he once had the same problem and solved it by keeping a gun underneath his pillow. When he would be about to come, he'd fire the gun and his wife would come, too. The man thanks the therapist and promises to try it. He comes back the next week, pale and distraught. "What's wrong?" asks the therapist. "Well," the man says, "I tried your technique. I placed a .45 underneath the pillow, and that night when I was 69'ing with my wife, I fired the gun just as I was about to come." "And?" "She sh*t on my face and bit my d**k off."