Still Hot for Each Other

An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary.
The old man said,"You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked."
The woman said, "Why don't we try that again?"  
So they stripped and sat down at the table again.
Soon the old woman said, "Honey, my titties are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago."
The man replied, "Of course they are dear, one's in your oatmeal and the others in your coffee!"

Man's Worst Nightmare

What's a man's worst nightmare?
1) The Super Bowl is preempted by a soap opera.
2) His wife has amnesia and forgets how to cook so he has to.
3) A female boss.
4) He has to ask his wife for money.

Zactly

Everywhere this lady went, nobody wanted to talk to her, no one ever asked her to go out. Guys came up to her and turned away. She wondered why this would happen. So she went to her doctor and told him what was going on. She thought that maybe there was a problem with her. The doctor told her he would give her a complete exam. He told her to undress and get up on the table, so she did. He told her to open her mouth and he checked it. Then he asked her to get down from the table and bend over. He then said to the lady, "I know what your problem is, you have zactly." The lady then asked, "What is zactly?" The doctor said, "Lady your mouth smells zactly like your butt!"