Bad Thoughts

A couple were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary at their home. Everyone was having a great time except for the wife who sat off in a corner with a tear in her eye. The family attorney came over to her and asked what was wrong. The wife told him, "Remember when we first got married and I told you that I couldn't stand him after about a month into the marriage? I really hated him at the time." "Yeah, I remember those trying times." replied the attorney. "I absolutely positively hated him. I even had bad thoughts of killing him, remember?" "Yes, I do." "But you kept telling me to get rid of those thoughts. You said that I would get up to thirty years for such a crime." "That was a long time ago though. Why are you so sad now?" "Because...I could have been a free woman by now!"

Losing A Wife

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

Ex Wife Takes All

After 15 years of marriage, Kate leaves her husband Danny. Danny lost everything to his ex wife, so thinking he's going insane, he takes a little walk through the forest. As he was walking his foot hits a lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says, "I'll give u 3 wishes, BUT everything you get your wife gets two times as much." Danny wishes for a car and his wife got two times as many cars. Then he wished for a house and his wife got two houses. Then Danny asked the genie to choke him half two death.