A Promise to Keep

"But this isn't an engagement ring." the young lady protested. "Why it's just a tiny unset diamond."  "Yeah ! I know." said the fellow, "And, it'll be mounted in a cluster around a big one, the very day after you are."

Long Marriage

Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage. They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home. The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.

Love, Lust, or Marriage?

How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married?

• LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.
• LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?
• LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have. LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot. MARRIAGE - When you argue over money.
• LOVE - When you share everything you own. LUST - When you steal everything they own. MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
• LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE - What's a climax?
• LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. LUST - When all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.
• LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings. LUST - When you couldn't give a shit. MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.
• LOVE - When your heart flutters everytime you see them. LUST - When your groin twitches everytime you see them. MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties everytime you see them.
• LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it. MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.
• LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner. LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner. MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.