Who am I?

A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. The door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: "Quick! My husband is back!" The man jumps out a window. Flying down he starts to think: "Shit! But I am the husband!"

Cheating Men

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe

Can't Quit Cold Turkey

A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!" Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take it easy dear, can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"