Home Early

Just arrived home early from work and saw some thieving bastard that had been trying to break into my house
....he managed to escape by hopping over the neighbor's gardens...
I'm proud of my wife though, she must have put up some fight because she's half-naked, covered in sweat and can hardly walk.

Panty Patrol

A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her. Furious, she questions her husband. The husband says, "I have no idea where they came from -- I don't do the laundry!" So, the wife goes to the maid and questions her. Indignant, the maid replies, "Madam, how should I know? These panties don't belong to me. I don't even wear panties -- just ask your husband!"

The President

Q: Why does Hillary Clinton Wake Up At 5:30 Every Morning?
A: To Make Sure That She Is The First Lady!