Caught in the Act

My daughter walked into our bedroom and caught us having sex. "What are you doing?" she asked in shock. "Making you someone to play with," I said. "A brother?" she asked excitingly. "No, a cousin," I replied. "Now go sit by the front window and tell me when your mother comes home."

Redneck Chimney

A redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him, "Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets, five big baby boys." The redneck said, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney." The nurse replied, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned. They're all black."

Upset Golfers

Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men's game. "Don't they know they're supposed to let us play through?" asked the first man. The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through," said the first man, emphatically, "Enough is enough." He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost. "Oh God," he said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress." The other man shrugged, and said "No sweat." He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said, "Small world!"