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Relationship Jokes - Cheater Jokes
Admin Harris
The admin, Ms. Harris, came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look, Ms. Harris, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here." The boss pressed on, " Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?" Ms. Harris simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, "My lawyer."
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Wife and Best Friend
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop. "Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender. "Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!" "That's terrible pal, the next drink is on the house." So the bartender gives him another tripple scotch and again he gulps it down. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?" "I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!" "Good for you! You said the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?" "Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said ... BAD DOG!"
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Three of Us
A couple of years ago, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my new roommate Joe barged into the room from nowhere, tripped and broke the glass table with his face. It totally ruined the moment. I didn't know Joe that well, didn't know where he was from, but i put my proposal on hold just to help him with his injuries.
Joe had shards of glass removed from his eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared along with my girlfriend.
Apparently they bonded during the time he was recovering and had eloped together, leaving me behind without even a note. I tried tracking them down, but to no avail.
In conclusion, if it hadn't been for the cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?
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