The Dreams

A husband and wife had been fighting for 3-4 days. The next morning they got up and were still not talking. The wife broke the silence by saying she had a dream last night. The husband asked her about what. She said she had a dream she was at an auction. They were auctioning off Penises. The little ones went for $500.00 and the big ones went for $1000.00. The husband throws out his chest and curiously asked what one like his went for. His wife told him bluntly that they were giving them away as door prizes! Her husband non-chalantly brushes this aside and tell his wife that "I had a dream last night too. They were auctioning off Pussys. The loose ones went for $500.00 and the tight ones went for $1000.00. The wife, not quite thinking he would come back at her asked him how much one like hers sold for. Sell? The didn't sell yours... where in the hell do you think they held the auction!

Cliff Diving

Q: Why did the Mexican guy throw his wife off of a cliff?
A: Tequila!

Sweet Revenge

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.