One Last Night

One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another.  After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.  "What's the matter?", the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy, "and now she is refusing to talk to me for a whole 31 days." The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?", asked the bartender. " Yeah, except tonight is the last night."

Husband

The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.

Pregnancy Excitement

A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The gentleman sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with. "Sir," she said, "I just received the best news you could ever imagine. I have to share it with someone or I'll bust." She told him the news that the doctor had told her about being pregnant. The man shared her enthusiasm as he shared his experience. He said he was a farmer and he had trouble with his hens laying eggs. He stated that he went out to the hen house one morning and all of his hens had laid eggs. He was so happy, he added, "but confidentially, I changed cocks." The newly pregnant woman responded, "Confidentially, me too."