The Top Signs That Your Net Relationship Is Over

• All of a sudden, she's typing in a different font.
• Instead of hearing that lovely "You've Got Mail" statement when you use America OnLine, you hear "You Just Got Dumped!"
• Your connection to his server is constantly refused.
• You get a Dear John E-mail... Your name is Fred.
• They no longer have access to a computer due to a recent parole.
• She starts ending each sentence with only 1 exclamation mark instead of the usual 3!!!
• She tells you that she's been working a lot. You think it's a professional job, it turns out that she was responsible for the decorations at her Jr High prom.
• During an intimate moment in a chat room, she reveals herself to be GRANDMA!!

One of Two Reasons

I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot. It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: They have no wife to go home to... or they do.

Tampons

Guy goes to the pharmacy at his wife's request to buy her some tampons. About an hour later he comes home with a bag of cotton balls. Staring at him in disbelief she asks, "What the HELL?! I asked for TAMPONS, not cotton balls!!" He says, "Remember when I asked you to pick me up a pack of cigarettes and you came home with a tin of tobacco and told me to roll my own because the cigs were too expensive?"