Bill and Jesse

Bill Clinton and Jesse Jackson are taking a post-workout shower. Bill looks down and says, ''Jesse, how'd you get that huge pecker?!'' Jesse replies, ''All I do is whack it four times on the bedpost everynight.'' So, Bill sneaks upstairs and whacks his four time in the bedpost, whereupon Hillary wakes up and says, ''Is that you, Jesse?'''

Drive Over

The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop. "The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?" "I recognized the laugh!" he replied.

Finished!

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.