True Rednecks on Halloween?

Q:  What do true rednecks do on Halloween?
A:  Pump kin.

Three Redneck Lies

1. The pickup is paid for.
2. I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.
3. I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Redneck Sawmill

Billy Bob and Cleetus landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning coffee Billy Bob yelled: "Cleetus! I lost my finger!" "Have you now?" says Cleetus. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi... Sumbitch! There goes another one!"