Three Redneck Lies

1. The pickup is paid for.
2. I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.
3. I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Redneck Sawmill

Billy Bob and Cleetus landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning coffee Billy Bob yelled: "Cleetus! I lost my finger!" "Have you now?" says Cleetus. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi... Sumbitch! There goes another one!"

Date Night

Q: What did the redneck say to the mermaid when she asked him on a date?
A: Shore