Possum Dinner

Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch for cars.

What You Do Best!

This suave-looking Redneck, (okay, just pretend there is one) walks into a bar and sees a cute little rich girl who's had too much to drink. He says to her, "Hey, baby...whataya say we go back to your place and get it on! Lost in her drink, she replies "Sure, why not!" They get to her place, and she lies on the bed and says, "Okay, show me what you do best!" Without delay, the Redneck rips off his jacket, grabs her T.V., VCR, and purse and runs out the door!

Sho Is a Wonder

One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?" Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!" Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza Jane said, "Alright if'n it will shut you up you can." So Rastus looks up her dress and sees that she has no panties on to which he exclaims, "Sho is a wonder!" Well the bus shows up and they gets on. Next day, Rastus and Liza Jane are sitting there again when Rastus ups and asks her, "Liza Jane, can I look up your dress again?" Well Liza Jane at first refused, but as the day before she then gave in. So Rastus looks up there and seeing no panties he exclaims, again, "Sho is a wonder!" Well this goes on for a few days when on the last day that Liza Jane would permit Rastus to look up her dress she tells him, "Rastus you can look up my dress but you have to tell me one thing?" Rastus replies, "What's that?" "Every time you look up my dress you says, "Sho is a wonder.  Sho is a wonder what?" To which Rastus replies, "Sho is a wonder your guts don't fall out!!"