Hillbilly Beat Off

A young hillbilly always went out to the barn to beat off and when he was done he would shoot his load into a coffee can and hide it under the bench. One day his father caught him and told him, "Son, every time you do that you are killing a baby."
The next time the boy went to the barn he was about to shoot his load and reached down to grab his can but a little frog had jumped in. The boy looked in the can saw the frog and said, "Son you're ugly but daddy loves ya."

Blonde - Redneck

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck?
A: If she can chew tobacco and suck dick at the same time and still know which one to spit out.

Hillbilly Chicks and Polar Bears

Q: What do hillbilly chicks and polar bears have in common?
A: They both lick their paws.