Delaware Jokes

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Dumb Delaware Laws:

• It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
• Lewes - It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist.
• Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment. 

Strange United States Laws

From the book "Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton.
Ottumwa, Iowa: "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
Los Angeles: you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
Zion, Ill.: it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
St. Louis, MO: it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
Detroit, MI: couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Hartford, Conn., you aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
Michigan: a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
Baltimore, MD: it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. It's also illegal to take a lion to the movies.
Oxford, Ohio: it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. 
Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service. 
California: animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Pennsylvania: "any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue."
Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face).
Los Angeles: a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.
Kentucky: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club"
An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."

Illinois Jokes

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Dumb Illinois Laws

• You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
• You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
• You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
• The English language is not to be spoken.
• Chicago Law, forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
• It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
• Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
• Spitting is forbidden
• In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.
• It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
• It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
• Champaign - One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
• Cicero - Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
• Crete - Cars may not be driven through the town.
• Des Plaines - Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
• Eureka - A man with a mustache may not kiss a woman.
• Evanston - Bowling is forbidden.
• It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
• It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
• Fairfield - It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise.
• Freeport - It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
• Galesburg - There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
• Homer - It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
• Joliet - Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
• Kenilworth - A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.
• Kirkland - Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.
• Moline - Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.
• There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
• Morton Grove - You may not own a handgun
• Normal - It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
• Orland Park - No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
• Ottawa - Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
• Park Ridge - Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
• Peoria - Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
• Zion - It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.