Her New Job

A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle me Elmo" dolls.. It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed that she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two----Test----Tickles."

New Experience

There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation. The doctors gathered at his bed afterwards to tell him the bad news. "Ohhhh no!!!" the patient wailed, "I'll never be able to experience an erection again!" "Of course you'll still be able to experience erections," replied one surgeon, "only it will have to be someone else's!"

The Top Signs That You Have A Boring Job

1. You're introduced to everyone as "The Minesweeper God."
2. You have visited every website in the world.
3. You're the Spelling Bee Coordinator in rural Alabama.
4. You are the only one that is ready for the rush of ticket sales for that New Kids on the Block reunion tour.
5. You're able to pull staples out of papers with your teeth.
6. Your doctor says that he's never seen someone exposed to so much photocopier radiation in his life.
7. You've seen the late night commercial for the Chia Dildo.
8. Your workload is so intense that you can write Top 10 lists all day long.
9. In your 10 years on the force as an Amish Traffic Cop, you have not had to write one single speeding ticket.