Girls Night Out

Two wives go out for girls' night.  Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with.  One used her panties, the other grabbed a wreath off of a grave.  The next morning one husband called the other and said, "no more girls night out! My wife came back with no panties." The other husband said, "you think that's bad? Mine came back with a card in her crack that read, 'from all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you'!"

West Virginia Drinking

Q: Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32? 
A: It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

Bullies

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"