Insemination Man

A blond City girl named Amy marries a N. Dakota rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields.  After awhile, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn.  They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?'
'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'

Want a Bag?

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?" the cashier asks. "No," the guy says, "she's not that ugly."

Made For Love

Adam was talking to God one day, and asked, "why did you make Eve so pretty?" God replied, "So you would love her." Adam then asked, "why did you make her such a good cook?" God replied, "So that you would love her." Adam asked, "Why does she have such a heavenly smile?" God said, "So you would love her." Finally, Adam asked, "Why did you make her so dumb?" God replied, "So that she would love you!"