An IRS Scam

WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS! If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service," DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects. This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind. These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of dollars. Don't be among them! FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

Polar Bears Voting

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Life Changes

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on EBAY anymore) and peeled the National Rifle Assoc. sticker off my front window.
I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.
I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.
Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN Buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flag pole.
Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service, and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.
I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.
Plus, I bought burkas for me to wear when I shop or travel.
Everyone moves out of the way, and security can't pat me down.  If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feeling like a woman today.
Hot Damn...Safe at last