Cheer up Hillary

Q: How did Bill try and cheer up Hillary on the second day after Trump was elected?
A: He reminded her that she wouldn't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.

Where Does Bill Clinton Have Sex?

Q: Where does Bill Clinton have sex?
A: In the oral office.

Give Us New Missiles

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dog fights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters. In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes. Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow. His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon. He told his Syrian guest, "Take anything you want - our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles." "No, no - you don't understand!" the Syrian replied. "Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-jet missiles!"