Gay Polack

Q:  Did you hear about the gay Polack?
A:  He slept with women.

Questions

A stitch in time saves nine. Nine what?
Are there any unguided missiles?
Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?
How can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Do fat people go skinny-dipping or do they call it fat-dipping?
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans?
Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
Do hummingbirds hum because they don’t know the words?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
When they asked George Washington for his ID, did he just whip out a quarter?
Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?
Does that screwdriver really belong to Phillip?
How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Old Never Dies

Old Soccer Players never die, they just achieve their final goal.
Old Soccer Players never die, they just lose their kick.
Old Soldiers never die, they just fade away.
Old Soldiers never die, they just smell that way.
Old Soldiers never die, young ones do.
Old Sourdoughs never die, they just ferment away.
Old Spelunkers never die, they just cave in.
Old Steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.
Old Students never die, they just get degraded.
Old Swimmers never die, they just fall off their blocks.
Old Swimmers never die, they just have a stroke.
Old Swimmers never die, they just kick-off.
Old System Users never die, they just turn to Null.
Old Tanners never die, they just go into hiding.
Old Tape Dispensers never die, they just get used up.