Business One Liners - When...

When reviewing your notes for a test, the most important ones will be illegible.
When someone says this is as bad as it can get, don't bet on it.
When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear.
When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.
When you don't have an education, you've got to use your brains.
When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all other coins will roll out of sight.
When the going gets tough, the smart get sneaky.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.
When they want it bad (in a rush), they get it bad.
When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally. 

Hard Working Business Lines

• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
• Has anyone ever heard of a self-made failure?
• Have you flogged your crew today?
• He who beats his sword into a plowshare usually ends up plowing for those who kept their swords.
• He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
• He who dies with the most toys, wins.
• He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
• He who hesitates is probably right.
• He who pulls the oars does not have time to rock the boat. 

Bumper Stickers

• Clinton doesn't inhale, he sucks
• USE CAUTION! 90% of people are made by accident.
• It's a dog eat dog world... and I'm wearing milkbone underwear!!!
• I break for hallucinations
• My Lawyer Can Beat Your Lawyer
• Blondes Are Not Dumb (the bumper sticker was upside-down)
• DADDY FARTED AND WE CAN'T GET OUT!!
• IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING, STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK!!!
• Nuck Fewt
• ORGASM DONOR
• My child made Student of the Month at Juvenile Hall
• No radio. Already stolen.
• Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
• So many pedestrians, so little time.
• My other wife is beautiful.
• I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
• Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.
• There is one in every crowd and they always find me.
• I love animals - They taste great!
• I'd rather step in shit than smoke it.
• Unless you are a hemorrhoid - get off my ass!
• On the back of a caterer's truck: "Nobody beats our meat!"