How Does A Man Keep His Youth?

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Going to the Movies

For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.
Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."

Old Mathematicians

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just go off on a tangent