Four Old Ladies and the F Word

Q:  How do you get four old ladies to say the F word?
A:  Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!

Senior CCW

I'm a senior citizen and just got my concealed carry permit. I went to Cabela's to purchase a Glock 43 because it was just the right size and weight for me to carry.  When I was ready to pay, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."  Pissed off that Bloomberg's gun control wacko's had gone too far, I did as she had instructed.  When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the chip card reader.  I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
 They need to make their instructions for seniors a little clearer.

Older Men

An old guy was in Costco the other day, pushing his shopping cart around when he collided with a young guy who was also pushing a cart. He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says,  "That's OK. It's just a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, " Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with long blond hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra.
What does your wife look like?" The old guy said, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours." Most older men are helpful like that.