Getting Married

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."
Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts."

Four Old Ladies and the F Word

Q:  How do you get four old ladies to say the F word?
A:  Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!

Senior CCW

I'm a senior citizen and just got my concealed carry permit. I went to Cabela's to purchase a Glock 43 because it was just the right size and weight for me to carry.  When I was ready to pay, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."  Pissed off that Bloomberg's gun control wacko's had gone too far, I did as she had instructed.  When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the chip card reader.  I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
 They need to make their instructions for seniors a little clearer.