Sexercises

An older couple were having trouble with their sex life, so the wife went to a sex therapist and was advised to try sexercises. He gave the wife a list of them to do each day.  Later that night as the couple were getting ready for bed, the husband went to take a shower and the wife thought she'd try out her sexercises. She got undressed and rolled back on her shoulders and placed her feet on the headboard.  About that time, her husband came out of the bathroom and looked over at the bed and said, "For god's sake, Mavis, comb your hair and put your teeth back in. You look just like your mother!"

The Ring

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."  At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said." The lady's
eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 
"By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon." On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and
said, "Sir...There's no money in that account." "I know," said the old man..."But let me tell you about my weekend." 
 

Still Hot for Each Other

An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary.
The old man said,"You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked."
The woman said, "Why don't we try that again?"  
So they stripped and sat down at the table again.
Soon the old woman said, "Honey, my titties are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago."
The man replied, "Of course they are dear, one's in your oatmeal and the others in your coffee!"