Retirement

An elderly man decided it was time to move on. He packed his stuff and moved into a retirement home. On his first day there, as he was unpacking his stuff into his room, he could help but notice that the woman in the room across the hall was staring at him. He thought it was odd but decided not to let it bother him.
Later that night, he went to the cafeteria to get dinner. He sat down at his table and, lo and behold, the woman from the hallway was sitting at the table next to him! There was no food on her table. She just sat there staring at him with fixed eyes. The man grew increasingly annoyed but didn't say anything.
After a scrumptious meal, he went to the lunge to play nightly bingo. He was enjoying the game until he noticed the woman again, staring at him. He had had enough.
He went up to her and said, "Ma'am, I couldn't help noticing that you have been staring at me ever since I arrived. Could you please stop, it is a bit bothersome."
She replied, "I am sorry, it is just that you look so much like my third husband!"
The man felt bad. "I'm sorry. If you don't mind me asking, how many husbands have you had?"
"Two." Was the woman's reply.

Old Ladies Flashed

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by and opens his trench coat right in front of them. The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady can't reach that far.

Abe and Edna

At the nursing home, Abe and Edna had struck up a romantic relationship. Since both of them were in their eighties, their physical contact was rather limited. However, every evening as they sat together on the sofa, Edna would unzip Abe's fly, pull out his penis and hold it in her hand for twenty minutes. This satisfied the two of them adequately. One day, Abe told Edna it was all off. He told her he was leaving her for Mabel - one of the other old dears at the nursing home. Naturally, Edna was a little miffed. "Heavens! What's she got that I haven't got?'' she asks. ''Parkinson's,'' said Abe.