Talking Frog

My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him.
"Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!"
Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him.
"Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on.
The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"

Rotten Cherry

There is an 80 year old virgin who suddenly gets an itch in her crotch area.  She goes to the doctor who checks her out and tells her she has crabs. She explained that she couldn't have crabs because she was a virgin, but the doctor didn't believe her, so she went to get a second opinion. The second doctor gave her the same answer. So she went to a third doctor and said  "Please help me. This itch is killing me and I know that I don't have crabs because I'm a virgin". The doctor checks her out and says "I have good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have crabs, the bad news is that your cherry rotted and you have fruit flies."

Having a baby at 80

An 80 - year - old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "I've never been better!" he replies. "I've got an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.  So he's in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes the handle. The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in his its chest." "That's impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear," the man said. "Exactly," replies the Doc.