The Height of Being Hard-Up

Q: Do you know what the height of being hard-up is?
A: Two old ladies in an asparagus patch doing knee bends!

Grandmother Too

Grandmother and granddaughter were in the bank when three bank robbers walked in and held it up. "All the ladies down on the floor," one handsome robber commanded. "My grandmother too?" the little girl asked. "Yes, your grandmother too!" "All the ladies on the floor, pull up your dresses." "My grandmother too?" "Yes, your grandmother too! All ladies will now remove their panties." "Surely you don't mean my grandmother too?" asked the little girl. Becoming angry, the handsome robber shouted, "YES, YOUR GRANDMOTHER TOO! Now, all the ladies on the floor are to spread their legs apart." When the little girl started to ask if her grandmother was included, her grandmother snarled, "YOU HEARD WHAT THE MAN SAID!"

Jokes about Age

• OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played out
• OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to bar
• OLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-line
• OLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayed
• OLD OWLS never die, they just don't give a hoot
• OLD PACIFISTS never die, they just go to peaces
• OLD PARADOXES never die, they just become enigmas
• OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they get sent to the old focus home
• OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing
• OLD PILOTS never die, they just buzz off
• OLD PILOTS never die, they just go to a higher plane
• OLD PLANETS never die, they just lose their attraction
• OLD PLASTIC never dies, they just recycle it
• OLD PLUMBERS never die, they just go down the drain
• OLD POLICEMEN never die, they just cop out