Yo Mama - Underwear

Yo mama so old, she has to screw on her underpants around her wrinkles.

You Used To

"You used to hold my hand years ago when we were courting," she said as they were side by side in bed. He reached over, took her hand and held it. "Then you used to kiss me," she purred. He turned over, gave her a slight kiss and then rolled over again to sleep. "After that, you used to bite my neck." With that the husband got up. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth," he grumbled.

Old Friends - Name

Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me." The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"