Nursing Home Tricks

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84-year-old father. While there he notices the nurse give his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." The man asks, "And the Viagra?" "Keeps him from falling out of bed."

Old Hypochondriacs 2

OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die, they just imagine it.

Old Beach Babe

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"