Road Rage

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, "I was going to park there!"
The man was a real smart aleck and he said, "That's what you can do when you're young and bright." Well, this really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes. The young man ran back to his car and asked, "What did you do that for?" The little old lady smiled and told him, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich!"

Line Dancing

Q: What's 30 feet long and smells like urine?
A: A country line dance at the nursing home!

Old Never Dies

Old football players never die, they just go to the end zone.
Old footballers never die, they just kick the bucket.
Old forsesters never die, they just pine away.
Old fridge repairmen never die, they just blow their cool.
Old frogs never die, they just croak.
Old fruit never dies, it just pear-ishes.
Old auto mechanics never die, they just retire.
Old geologists never die, they just re-crystalize.
Old ghost towns never die, they become desolate.
Old golfers never die, they just lose their drive.
Old graphic artists never die, they just de-rez.
Old gymnasts never die, they just take longer to mount.
Old hams never die, they just get grounded.
Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.
Old Helsinki tourists never die, they just vanish into Finn Air.