Business One Liners - There is No

• There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog.
• There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrrong.
• There is no limit to how bad things can get.
• There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit.
• There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.
• There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen thermonuclear device.
• There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
• There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
• There is no such thing as a "dirty capitalist", only a capitalist.
• There is no such thing as instant experience.
• There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing. 

Business Laws Continued

Hugh Downs' Four Rules for Investigating the Universe:
Rule 1 - When confronted with an apparent infinite or infinitely repeating pattern, expect some variant that keeps it from being infinite.
Rule 2 - When all investigation supports Rule 1, look for a situation which violates it.
Rule 3 - Be prepared for an infinite oscillation between Rules 1 and 2.
Rule 4 - Apply Rule 1.
Drew's Law of Highway Biology: The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.
Ducharme's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.
Ducharme's Precept: Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
Emersons' Law of Contrariness: Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
Estridge's Law: No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM can redefine it.
Fett's Law: Never replicate a successful experiment. 

Business One - Liners 80

• It's Not My Job!
• It's not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere.
• It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.
• It's not the work that gets me down, it's the coffee breaks.
• It's out of my control.
• Job placement: Telling your boss what he can do with your job.
• Join in the new game that's sweeping the country. It's called "Bureaucracy". Everybody stands in a circle. The first person to do anything loses.

Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Just about the time when your income gets to the point where food prices don't matter, calories do.