Condom Modelling Rejection

Condom Modelling Rejection TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY 6969 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269
Dear John Doe,
We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, TROJAN CONDOMS. Although your general appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors feels that your wearing of our product in the advertisement does not portray a positive, romantic image for our product. A loose baggy and wrinkled condom is NOT considered romantic. We did admire your efforts to try and firm it up by using Polygrip, but even then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We would like to note, however, that yours is the first we've seen that looked like a bicycle grip. We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. We will retain your application for future consideration, if by chance, we decide that there is a market for micro-mini condoms.  We send greetings and our deepest sympathy.Yours very truly,
Burley Dick
President, TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY, INC.VD/abc
P.S. Remember our slogans: Cover your stump before you hump. Don't be silly, protect your Willie.  Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker .Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it!

Unique job Interviews

     Job Interview Quotations
Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

1. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
2. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
3. Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.
4. Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewers office.
5. Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.
6. Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
7. Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.
8. Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
9. Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
10. Candidate brought large dog to interview.
11. Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.
12. Candidate dozed off during interview.

The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates.

1. "What is it that you people do at this company?"
2. "What is the company motto?"
3. "Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
4. "What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
5. "Why do you want references?"
6. "Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
7. "I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
8. "Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"
9. "Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"
10. "Does your health insurance cover pets?"
11. "Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"
12. "Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
13. "Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"
14. "Why am I here?"

Also included are a number of unusual statement made by candidates during the interview process.

1. I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.
2. At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.
3. I feel uneasy indoors.
4. Sometimes I feel like smashing things.
5. Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.
6. I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.
7. I get excited very easily.
8. I am fascinated by fire.
9. I like tall women.
10. People are always watching me.
11. If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.
12. I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.
13. I never get hungry.
14. I know who is responsible for most of my troubles.
15. If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival.
16. I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.
17. I think I'm going to throw-up.

MLB Member Quotes

• "It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then I'd probably have seen a lot more of my husband." - Karolyn Rose, ex-wife of Pete Rose, 1981
• "It's a weird scene. You win a few baseball games and all of a sudden, you're surrounded by reporters and TV men with cameras asking you about Vietnam and race relations." - Vida Blue, 1971
• "I watch a lot of baseball on the radio." - Gerald Ford, 1978
• "It's a beautiful day for a night game." - Announcer Frankie Frisch
• "The most important things in life are good friends and a strong bull pen." - Pitcher Bob Lemon, 1981
• "Well, that kind of puts a damper on another Yankees win." - Announcer Phil Rizzuto, after a news bulletin reporting the death of Pope Paul VI, 1978.
• "They brought me up with the Brooklyn Dodgers, which at time was in Brooklyn." - Casey Stengel, 1962
• "I won't play for a penny less than $1500." - Honus Wagner, turning down an offer of $2000.