The System Crash Song

SYSTEM CRASH (to the tune of "The Monster Mash")

• I was working in the lab, late one night
• When my eyes beheld an eerie sight,
• Some smoke from our VAX began to rise
• And suddenly, to my surprise... [chorus]
• (There was a crash) There was a system crash (A mighty crash)
• I heard the disk heads smash
• (A system crash) It came down in a flash
• (There was a crash) A fatal system crash
• The lab manager then appeared from his room,
• Said: "I don't want to be a prophet of doom,
• But we had one like this just the other day
• Which blew up 4 megs and the SBA" ... [chorus]
• The system had just been booted, diagnostics had all run through,
• When a power fluck made it all run amuck, then SCOTTY and IRVING blew too
• So we'd lost all our VAXes in less than one night
• When a VP came in and said: "Hey, that's all right,
• I'll loan you a Venus - here's what to do
• When you call up Support, tell them Gordon sent you... [chorus]

Back From Vacation

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. "But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then?"
"What, and ruin my vacation?" she whined.

Business One Liners - People's Opportunities

• Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
• Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens.
• Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
• Our present business is not to exchange compliments but arguments. - Robert Boyle, 17th century chemist
• People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.
• People do not change, they only become more so.
• People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
• People specialize in their area of greatest weakness.
• People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
• People who are resistant to change cannot resist change for the worse.