The Promotion

Boss: "Johnson, we're giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal."
Johnson: "Montreal! Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!"
Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there!
Johnson: Without missing a beat replies, "No kidding! What position does she play?"

Mini-Skirt

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

The Big Shake-up!

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business! The CEO, walks up the guy and asks - "and how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams  "here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks "does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters  "Pizza delivery guy".