Job Interview

I went for a job interview and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible."

That's Lazy

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. "I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up." Nine hands went up.  "Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man. "Too much trouble," came the reply.

The Promotion

Boss: "Johnson, we're giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal."
Johnson: "Montreal! Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!"
Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there!
Johnson: Without missing a beat replies, "No kidding! What position does she play?"