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Work & Office Jokes
Outsmarting The Boss
A not so bright guy got a job in a factory and "the boys" soon befriended him. Just before lunch one day a fellow worker came up to him and said, "You notice how the boss has been leaving work early for lunch and comes back late the past few weeks? Well, I've been going home and spending time with my wife. You oughta try it." So our young friend snuck home, but as he entered his apartment, he could hear his wife and a man in his bedroom. Sneaking a peak into his bedroom, he caught his wife, with his BOSS in bed. Turning around, he quietly left the apartment and returned to work before his boss got back. The next day, after the boss left, his friend nudged him and said, "I guess that's my cue! You gonna sneak home again today?" To which our young friend replied, "Nah, I better not! I almost got caught yesterday!"
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Blonde at a Job Interview
A blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying, "Ehhhh... 22!"
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice." And can you tell us your height, please?" The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or lookup." Just to confirm for our records, your name please?" The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "MANDY!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?"
"Ohhhh, that!" replies the airhead, "I was just running through that song -'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...' "
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Scratching
A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" Asked the interviewer. "Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant. "Did you see any active duty?" "I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability." "May I ask what happened?" "Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles." "You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am." "When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential treatment because of my disability." "Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first."
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