Vegas

My friend came back from Las Vegas. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went there in a $20,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche.
I thought, "Nice, I'm going to get in on that." So I left for Vegas in my $30,000 Toyota. Came back in a $465,000 vehicle.
A Greyhound bus.

Yo Mama - Bird Seed

Yo mama so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.

Bum Asking for Money

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum said, "No." The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"