Defining Form 1040

For those of you who are not familiar with US tax forms, "Form 1040" is the most common of the US Federal tax forms. Most people file one of the several versions of this form.
Q: Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040? 
A: Because for every $50 that you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

Blondes Getting Breast Implants

Q: Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants?
A: So they don't have to pay the flat tax.

Military Measurement Payments

The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body -- to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from his head to his toe. He was 69 inches. He received $690,000. Next up was the Army general. He wanted to be measured from the tip of his finger to the tip of his other finger. It was 80 inches. He received $800,000. The two generals were very happy with their earnings. Finally the Marine general came up. He said he wanted to be measured from the tip of his dick to the tip of his balls. The man said, ''Sir, do you know how much the other generals received?'' The general said no. ''Sir, they received $690,000 and $800,000 respectively, are you sure that is what you want measured?'' The general said, ''Just do it!'' The man dropped the general's pants and measured his dick. When he went for the general's balls, they weren't there. The man said, ''Sir, where are your balls.'' The general said, ''I left them back in Vietnam.''