Donations

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

Aggie Wins the Lottery

A lucky Aggie once won the lottery for $20,000,000 and went to pick up all of his money. But when he got there, the guy who was in charge of the money said that the money would be paid out over twenty years. So the Aggie got pissed off and says:
"If you're not going to give me all my money, I want my dollar back."

Put Me Into A Fighting Mood

Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.