$20 Dollar Question

Q: A smart blonde, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!

Earned Enough

An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney's office as his lawyer handed him his will. "Your estate is very complex," said the lawyer, "but I've made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500." Just then, the phone rang and the lawyer got involved with a long call. Thinking the lawyer had said "$500," the old man wrote out his check and left. When she got off the phone and realized the old man's mistake, the lawyer ran after him down the stairs and into the parking lot just as he drove away. Feeling frustrated, the lawyer looked at the check and decided to accept the situation philosophically. "Oh well," she said to herself, "$500 for half an hour's work isn't bad."

Pants Realization

I never realized as I was growing up that our family didn't have much money. I thought all the girls wore full length pants in second grade and returned from summer wearing the same pants, but now we were calling them capris!