Interview With Post Office

A guy applied for a job at a post office and got an interview. During the interview, the man mentioned that his penis got blown off in the war. The boss didn't care so much about that and they needed a mailman badly so he gave him the job. "Come in on Monday at 11:00. Everybody else comes in at 10:00, but I'll give you a break." "Why?" "Well, we don't have much to do in the morning, so we jack off for an hour or so."

Army Private Needs New Glasses

An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, "But you just got a new pair last month!" "Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b... broken in an accident," stammered the private. "Accident, what kind of an accident?" The Captain looked in his book of Accident definitions and glossaries, "Road-march accident, Firing Range accident, PT accident, Drill accident?" "No, no nothing of those..." said the private. "Well then, what is it?" "I'd rather not tell you sir..." "Well, no satisfactory explanations, no new glasses," said the medical officer, ready to stand up, "I've to see my patients now." "No, no sir wait, I broke them when I was kissing my girl," blurted the private. "Don't be daft man, how could you break your glasses kissing a girl?" "You see, she crossed her legs....."

US Attorney Generals Light Bulb

Q: How many US Attorney Generals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I cannot recall that particular answer at this time.