Military Jokes

The Final FBI Test

There is an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Ukranian and they are in their final stages of training for the FBI. The agents explained to them their final test. "We have each one of your wives contained in separate cells and what you guys have to do in order to complete your FBI training is you have to prove your loyalty. You must grab that gun and go into your wife's cell and kill her." The englishman grabbed the gun. "Man I hate that bitch. She is going to get it good." He walked off into the cell and was in there for about a minute. There was just silence. He came out crying, "We've been married too long. I just cant do it." So he was booted out. The frenchman grabbed the gun. "If I must, I must." He went into his wife's cell for about a minute and there was silence. He came walking out crying, "I love her too much. I just can't do it." So he was booted out. So the Ukranian grabbed the gun and stormed into his wife's cell. "That fucking bitch is really going to get it." Gun shots went off until there was no more shots left. He was still in the room and all of a sudden, there was banging and scrapping and crashing and then silence. The Ukranian came out with cuts and bruises all over his face. The agent asked, "What the hell happened in there?" The Ukranian replied, "Some fucker put blanks in the gun so I had to strangle the bitch!"

Categories: Military Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (French Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Domestic Violence Jokes)
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Q: How do you get rid of Germans fascists?
A: Von by von.

Categories: Military Jokes , Ethnic / Country Jokes (German Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous

Family Traveling to Military Base

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, ''do all these children and this luggage belong to you?'' ''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, ''they're all mine.'' The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?'' ''Sir,'' she calmly answered, ''if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now.''

Categories: Jokes about Families , Military Jokes
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