Neutron Walks into a Bar

A neutron walks into a bar, and asks for a drink. The bartender serves it up, and the neutron asks, "Hey - how much?" Bartender replies, "For you - no charge!"

Chemistry Christmas Song

Quantum Chemistry
On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the fourth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: four harmonic oscillators, three orbitals, etc. On the fifth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: Five Hermitian Operators! Four harmonic ocillators, three orbitals, etc. On the sixth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: six spin-orbit couplings, etc. On the seventh day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: seven basis functions, etc. On the eighth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: eight time dependent perturbations, etc. On the ninth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: nine Slater determinants, etc. On the tenth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: ten electrons tunneling, etc. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: eleven photons emitting, etc. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: 12 fermions exchanging, etc. 

Deck the Labs - Chemistry Song

Deck the Labs
Deck the labs with rubber tubing Fa la la la la, la la la la. Use your funnel and your filter Fa la la la la, la la la la. Don we now our goggles and aprons Fa la la la la, la la la la. Before we go to our lab stations Fa la la la la, la la la la. Fill the beakers with solutions Fa la la la la, la la la la. Mix solutions for reactions Fa la la la la, la la la la. Watch we now for observations Fa la la la la, la la la la. So we can collect our data Fa la la la la, la la la la.