Asteroid Hits Earth

Top Advantages of An Asteroid Really Hitting Earth

• You'd be able to surf in South Dakota.
• Wouldn't have to hear that garbage Aerosmith song anymore.
• The one dinosaur on the planet (here's a clue..he's purple) would be extinct.
• We'd miss out on Tony Danza's or Jenny McCarthy's next sitcom.
• Puts a major damper on that Molly Hatchet/Judas Priest reunion tour.
• Pretty good chance that the Gorditas Dog from the Taco Bell commercials wouldn't survive.
• There'd be no more movies on the topic, that's for sure. 

Economics Ruins Life

Economics is ruining your life when...
- I tried to calculate my 3 year old son's discount rate by seeing how many sweets he would require to be promised to him after dinner to be equivalent to one sweet before dinner. 
- I spent one hour in a toy shop making up over 20 bundles of toys that could be purchased for $25 and then asked my son to select one of these bundles. 

Two Evil Friars

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there were two evil friars living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in their floral shop, come up with a plant that would devour the townspeople one by one until none were left. They set forth to put their plan into action by planting the man-eating plants so they encircled the village. As the plants rapidly grew, they began devouring everything living in their path. The townspeople grew frightened; who or what would save them from their eminent doom? Finally, the town's elder remember Hugh, a woodcutter who lived on the outskirts of town. Frantically, the townspeople penned a desperate plea for help, tied it to the leg of a pigeon, and directed the bird toward Hugh's cabin. Meanwhile, outside of town, Hugh had received the note from the townspeople, and realizing they were in grave danger, set forth to do what he needed to do. He honed his mightiest axe to razor-sharpness, grabbed his hat, and off he went. Chopping his way through the dense vines, he single-handedly destroyed the carnivorous plants one by one, until all were destroyed. Then he set out to rid the village of the evil friars, chasing them out of town. The town was saved!!! The people rejoiced and knighted Hugh for his brave and timely efforts to save the village!!! And the moral of the story is: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.