Little Johnny at Thanksgiving

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman." The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats." At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut." A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

Making a Sandwich

One day Little Johnny asks his Mum, "How come when I come in to your room you and you're on top of Daddy, you say you're making a sandwich, but after a while I come in again, you're eating a sausage?!"

Little Johnny and the Difference Between Boys and Girls

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that,  "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls," and would his mother, "please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this." So johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom and closes the door. "First Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse". So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.  "Ok, now take off my skirt".   So he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra". Which he does. "And now, johnny, please take off my panties". And when johnny finishes removing those, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"