Distinguishing an Arab from a Terrorist

Q: How do you distinguish an arab from a terrorist?
A: You don't ..... that's the problem!

Poof!

A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. "I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie. Poof! A beer appeared. Next the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women." Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him. Oh, man this is the life, the guy thought. "I wish I never had to work again." And poof!...He was back at his desk in the government office!

The Mexican Olympic Team

Q: How come Mexico never has a good Olympic team?
A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, jump, or swim are in the U.S.A.