Desert Ride

A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the desert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither one of them will survive the rest of the journey.
The priest asks the nun "I have never seen a woman's breasts, and at this point it probably wouldn't matter much, so could I see yours?" The nun agrees and shows him her breasts.   "May I touch them?" asks the priest. The nun allows him to. The priest comments sincerely how wonderful they are.
The nun then asks "Father, I have never seen a man's penis before, could you show me yours?" The priest drops his drawers. "May I touch it?" After she fondles his penis for a minute he sports a huge erection. The priest says, "you know if I place my penis in the proper place it can give life!"
"Is that right" the nun replies? "Yes," says the priest. "Then why don't you stick it up that camels ass and lets get the hell out of here!"

Guitar and Tuna

Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

Young Wife

A 70 year old rich guy goes to the bar with his gorgeous 25 year old wife! The bartender asked him, "Why did she marry you?" The old rich guy replied, "I lied about my age!"
Bartender: " You said 45?"
Old rich guy: "No! I said 90!"