Serving Bears at Bars

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars." The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there." The bartender says, "Go ahead." So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs." "What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on drugs." "Yes, you are, that was the bar bitch you ate."

Supreme Court Decision Same Sex Marriage

Q: Why the US Supreme Court should have legalized Marijuana when they approved same sex-marriage?
A: Because it says in the bible, a man who lies with another man shall be stoned.

Lightbulb - Junkie

Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to roll it, and one to light it up.