Heavy Sack

Q: Why is Santa's sack so big?
A: He only comes once a year.

Fired From Poultry Shop

Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop?
A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.

Business One-Liners Pt. 5

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.
A penny saved has not been spent.
A penny saved is an economic breakthrough.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A problem cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created it. (In other words, if you screw it up, you can't fix it.)
A real person has two reasons for doing anything... a good reason and the real reason.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside.