One Line Bumper Stickers

• Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
• Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
• Earn cash in your spare time... blackmail friends.
• Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
• Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.
• History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
• It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
• It works better if you plug it in. 

Unpaid Parking Tickets

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Chicago Tribune - William P. Holcomb, whose job is to supervise the tracking down of Houston, Texas parking ticket violators. It was revealed that he had 375 unpaid tickets.

Signs and Notices 16

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• At a restaurant in New York: "Tip-ing is not a city in China."
• Here is a great sign I saw in the grocery store: "Snickers, 5 for $1.00. (limit 4)"
• On a dock in Juneau, Alaska: "Safety ladder, climb at own risk."
• Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA "Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!"
• Emergency Evacuation Plan posted in various places around my office building: "Run like Anything!"
• Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee) "Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends."
• Sign on the wall of the office of an ethnologist: "Beware of bargains in 1. Parachutes 2. Life preservers 3. Brain surgery 4. Eye Care
• Billboard sign on a highway coming out of Austin, TX: "Nobody reads billboards.... But you just did :)"