Unique job Interviews

     Job Interview Quotations
Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

1. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
2. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
3. Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.
4. Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewers office.
5. Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.
6. Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
7. Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.
8. Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
9. Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
10. Candidate brought large dog to interview.
11. Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.
12. Candidate dozed off during interview.

The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates.

1. "What is it that you people do at this company?"
2. "What is the company motto?"
3. "Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
4. "What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
5. "Why do you want references?"
6. "Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
7. "I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
8. "Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"
9. "Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"
10. "Does your health insurance cover pets?"
11. "Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"
12. "Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
13. "Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"
14. "Why am I here?"

Also included are a number of unusual statement made by candidates during the interview process.

1. I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.
2. At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.
3. I feel uneasy indoors.
4. Sometimes I feel like smashing things.
5. Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.
6. I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.
7. I get excited very easily.
8. I am fascinated by fire.
9. I like tall women.
10. People are always watching me.
11. If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.
12. I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.
13. I never get hungry.
14. I know who is responsible for most of my troubles.
15. If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival.
16. I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.
17. I think I'm going to throw-up.

Important Thoughts

• You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
• Talc is found on rocks and on babies.
• The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
• When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
• When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
• Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.
• While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
• Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
• South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.
• Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
• Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.
• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
• There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.
• There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.
• Lime is a green-tasting rock.
• Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
• Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.
• Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
• Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.
• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
• We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
• To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.
• In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.
• Clouds are high flying fogs.
• I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
• Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
• Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
• Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
• We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.
• Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.
• Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
• In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
• Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
• A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
• A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.
• A monsoon is a French gentleman.
• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
• Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
• It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.
• The wind is like the air, only pushier.

Signs And Notices 15

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
• Sign in a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
• Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: "COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
• Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: "English well talking." "Here speeching American."
• Sign at a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
• Sign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: "A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played."
• Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!"
• Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."