More You Might Be A Redneck

You might be a redneck if...

• You have guns in your house that you cannot find.
• You think a night of fine dining is going to the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart while the automotive department is raising your truck another 8 inches.
• You think Wal-Mart is expensive.
• You've got more guns "On Display" than Wal-Mart Sporting Goods.
• You have ever written a check for less than a dollar.
• Your horse wears shoes, but you don't.
• It doesn't bother you when you walk through a barn barefooted.
• You name your twin boys Jack and Daniel.
• You ask your 10-year old son how to spell a word.
• Your dog is your alarm clock.

Horse Play Insult

Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

Horse and Chicken

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.