Southern Anniversary Presents

Two southern ladies are sitting at the country club by the pool. The first southern lady says, "When I had my first child, my husband bought me a diamond ring." The second lady says, "Well, isn't that nice." The first lady says, "When my second child was born, my husband took me on a cruise." The second lady says, ''Well isn't that nice." The first lady continues, "When my third child was born, my husband took me on a trip around the world." And the second lady says, once again, "Well, isn't that nice." The first lady asks, "Well, what did your husband get you when your first child was born?" The second lady replies, "My husband sent me to finish school." The first lady asks, "Well why did he do that?" And the second lady says, "So I could learn to say 'Well isn't that nice', instead of 'FUCK YOU!"

Amsterdam Semester Abroad

Possible Courses In Amsterdam:

• Essentials of Bong Design: Discover earth, water, wind, and fire as the tools you'll need to get rid of your syllabus... some killer hashish.
• Smuggling 101: Who says the party's over? Years of commerce have made this Northern culture an expert at turning a rectum into a set of luggage.
• Medieval Condom Use: Even Sir Lancelot had a rash. Discover how centuries of crotch scratchers protected their privates with specially designed shields.
• The Development of Puke: Our native-born instructors take students from heaving to hurling.
• Architecture of Early Modern Brothels: With the aid of walking tours and guest hooker lecturers.

Alabama Lineman

Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great at football, but not at academics. The principal was letting it slide until one day he decided that Bubba's grades HAD to be better. They decided to make him take a test. It was only one math problem. Everyone wanted to support Bubba out in the stands, so they held the test in the middle of the football stadium, so everyone could see. His math teacher went out to the center of the field with Bubba. It was test time. The teacher said, ''Ok, Bubba. What is six plus three?''
Bubba sat and thought. Then he said, ''nine,'' confidently.
But out in the stands, everyone was yelling, ''Aw, c'mon. Give him another chance!''