No Sex on the Ark!

When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO SEX on this trip! All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back." After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"  Mrs.  Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet." "Darn it!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit. This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day?" "LOOK!", said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper... "I GOT THE HORSE'S RECEIPT!!"

Fencing Elephant

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Cat Knows Password

1. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy." 
2. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
3. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip..
4. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna. 
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "Cyber-Dog."
6. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it. 
7. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
8. On IRC you're known as the Iron-Mouser.
9. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.