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A group of cowboys were branding some cattle. While they were out the cook saw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for that nights dinner, he cooked it. That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking and ignoring the cook. The cook pulled a cowboy aside and asked, "Did I screw up the cooking..." "No", the cowboy replied, "You cooked up the screwing."
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A woman has just started to play golf when she gets stung on the arm by a bee. She rushes back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor. She asks, "Is anyone here a doctor." One guy, who was pretty drunk, stands up and says, "I'm a doctor, what can I help you with?" "I've been stung by a bee." "Oh really, where?" "Between the first and second hole" "Well, first of all, your stance is too wide..."
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